Writing Assignment: Word Avoidance

For my creative writing class, one assigment required me to take a word given and write about that word without ever using that word.  At first this assignment appeared daunting, but then after I chose the word and looked up the definition, I started to imagine how I could describe the word:

Decadence--the act of falling into an inferior condition, decay; moral degeneration; unrestrained, excessive self-indulgence.

I first thought of a favorite childhood book, The Little House, by Virgina Lee Burton, about a house which fell into disrepair.  Then, I went to the internet and searched for an old, broken down house, and found an image of a old, run-down mansion, still in existence today in Louisville, Kentucky which became the basis for my writing. 

The stately, old house now appears lonely and forbidding – a reminder of forgotten memories and dreams.  Once the strong foundation elevated the noble house, but negligence and inattention caused the foundation to begin to crumble.  The peeling paint upon the wooden planks expose the structure to the biting elements of the cold winter and the hot summer days.  Broken windows no longer bring light into the rooms, as plywood nailed to the windows block entrance of light into the home. Cobwebs gather dust throughout every corner of the home. The wooden steps of the grand staircase creak with the slightest pressure, as if one would fall through with every step. The wind blows through the holes and cracks of the dilapidated house tossing and turning whatever lays in its path. The depth of the darkness lingers in each room. Weeds overrun the flowerbeds, vines entangle around the home, climbing through the windows and into the cracks. No laughter penetrates the walls; though rustling of the unseen vermin nesting within the walls can be heard.  Once watched over and protected, the house lies in ruin, almost unrecognizable of its former glory.

Some in today’s world appear lonely and forgotten, their compass no longer points true north, as they sought pleasure over principles, disregarding any consequences of their actions.

Their foundation crumbles under the weight of permissiveness, unrighteousness, and disregard for laws and order. Continually pulling back the layers of self-control and self-respect leaves their souls exposed to the elements of destruction. Broken hearts and broken dreams littered all around them, engulfing despair prevents light to penetrate. The feelings of bitterness, fear, and loneliness gather dust in the corners of their hearts and minds. They feel trapped, afraid to move forward because the slightest pressure of their next step may cause them to fall further down. The wind freely blows them whichever way it chooses and causes shivers to run down their spine. The light in their eyes diminishes, till its barely discernible. The beauty of their soul withers unable to handle the scorching heat of pride and corruption. The entanglement of sin binds their thoughts and actions limiting their ability to freely choose. Joyous laughter becomes replaced by cynical cackling. Once watched over and protected, their souls lie in ruin, almost unrecognizable of their former glory.

My Mom

Throughout my years as a young parent, I would call my mom on the phone and share with her my frustrations or  difficulties.  Most of the time she just listened, sometimes she gave me and advice, and sometimes she just tried to let me know she understood that parenting can be difficult.  She came to visit when I needed her, whether for the birth of a child or for a daughter's surgery.  I knew I could count on her.

In 1996, she received the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.  This proved to be life altering, but she fought this disease for as long as she could.  In the last few years of her life, the MS took over, exerting more control over her body and mind.  No longer could I rely on my mom to be my listening ear. When she realized that she needed a wheelchair, she fell into a deep depression. I became her listening ear.  I would call her and she would just cry and wish to die.  For three more years, we watched my mom suffer.  Over time, she lost much of her mobility and her ability to communicate diminished.  My mom and dad always taught their children to serve by example, and now we relished in the opportunity to serve my mom.

She worried when she first received the diagnosis about being a burden to her family, but my dad stayed by her side, focused solely on meeting her every need.  He showed a great example of unconditional love to which I shall ever be grateful for.  We gladly bore the burden of caring for my mom because she had always been there for us when we needed her.  Now, we returned that service.

Last August, my mom went in for surgery, but suffered complications from the surgery, and a quick stay at the hospital turned into weeks, followed by a rehab center.  I flew in to see her in October at the rehab center.  How glad I was to see her, but I hated seeing her suffer. I held her hand as she struggled through her physical and occupational therapy.  She said, “I can’t.”  I said, “Don’t say I can’t, say ‘I know it’s hard, but I’ll try.” That's what she had taught me throughout my life.

I did not make it back to hold her hand one last time, but I will forever cherish the weekend I spent with her at rehab—calming her anxiety, expressing my love, encouraging her to keep trying, and being there because she needed me.  She looked up at me when I arrived and said, “Ah, Kimberly’s here.” Yes, Mom I am here because you were always there when I needed you and now I am here because you needed me.

She fought a tough battle and caring for her was a burden we gladly bore simply because she was our Mom and Dad’s eternal companion.  She endured many challenges and I shall ever be grateful for a mom who taught me to serve, to love, to endure, to reach for my goals. I thank her for the example she was to me.

Life is a Journey, Enjoy Each Step You Take

Learning from past experiences by writing

Currently, I am enrolled in a Creative Non-fiction Writing class. I love this class and enjoy learning how to be a better writer.  Writing proves to be an amazing process to me.  As I write through my thought processes, I discover things I never fully understand before or sometimes it helps me to change my perspective on my current or past situations.

Recently for my class, I wrote about a past time in my life which I consider one of the most challenging times of my life.  As I thought through that experience, remembering, and reflecting upon that trying time, I saw something that I never realized before.  I have continued to blame my circumstances and other people for that challenging time.  I was miserable and depressed and decided to change my path following that difficult semester at college.  What I realize today is I had the power to change things, but instead I allowed myself to be swallowed up in misery, so much that I couldn't see beyond myself, or find a way through my challenges in the moment. I wish instead of just focusing on getting past that semester, I wish I would have worked harder to find happiness during those four months.

All these years later, I finally look at that time differently.   Of course, years of experience help me see what I couldn’t see then.  Reflecting upon it helps me not forget my past trials, but to continue to learn from them to give me wisdom and understanding to face my current and future challenges.

Capturing our thought processes and to see where our thinking will lead us is an incredible experience. Those "aah" moments when we change the way we perceive life or understand something we never truly grasped before continues to be my favorite thing about writing

Moving -- Always an Adventure

In 1995, my husband graduated from college and we set out on a new adventure.  As we drove the rental van towards the midwest, we could not imagine the course our lives would take. Six states later and an average of a move every 2.4 years created many new adventures. For each place we called home, I tried to focus not on where we used to live, but on where we currently lived.  Some moves required a longer adjustment period, other moves we quickly acclimated to our new home.  Some people ask me which place I consider to be my favorite.  I really don't know which I would label my favorite.  I identify each place with the memorable stories and with different challenges. Though moving is difficult, I have learned to adapt, to be open-minded, to seek God's will and guidance through our many changes.  We know the word "change" very well.  I love seeing new parts of the country, meeting new people, and creating new experiences.  Moving, with all its ups and downs, proves to be an adventure. I have come to accept that this is my life, and I'm determined to make the best of each new adventure.

The Challenges of Parenting -- Am I Up to the Task?

When it comes to parenting, I sometimes question if I am up to the task. I try not to become discouraged, but with the daily challenges of teaching children, helping children, and resolving conflict, at times, I feel discouraged. It is not easy raising a family.

As a mom, I worry -- at any one time I could probably express a worry I have about each or most of my children.  I don't think its going to get any easier.  This is not an easy world to live in, evil surrounds us and constantly tries to bombard our family. I must help my children to understand this battle and fight, fight, fight--to overcome the world, to stand strong, to be good examples, to withstand temptation, to rise above.  My husband and I must be their captains -- and lead them into or away from battle, depending on whether fighting is required.  We must teach our children who they are and who they can become.  We must help them see that life is more than the images portrayed in music, movies, and the internet.

This Is My Quest--no matter how hopeless, no matter how far.  The Impossible Dream is my theme for our family.  I have loved this song since a teenager.  I use it now when I contemplate how difficult life and parenting is.  A war wages all around us.  I cannot shrink from my duty as co-captain of our army. Thankfully, God's on our side -- that is the only way we can succeed.

My Favorite Song

The large stereo cabinet stood in the living room of my childhood home. It played my mom's favorite records and even 8-tracks.  It took up a lot of space being about 6 feet wide and 4 feet tall.  I loved my mom's stereo. I spent hours listening to my mom's favorite singers, including Barbara Streisand, Petula Clark, Jim Nabors and a few others.  Though I knew I couldn't sing, I would still sing along to my favorites (usually I waited until I would be home alone, before belting out the songs.)

As I grew up listening to these songs, I learned to love a great ballad.  I considered "The Impossible Dream" to be my favorite then as I listened to Jim Nabors sing it.  I love that song to this day.  I dream I can actually sing that song, but that's definitely the Impossible Dream.  For now, I will simply enjoy listening to the song, and using it as a theme for my life.  As I face my challenges and overcome my imperfections, I hope to endure and to learn from my life, and to make my life all it can be.