I finally took my Yukon into the store for new tires. The Beast, as our Yukon is affectionately
called, did not seem happy, and the low tire sensor was determined to
constantly remind me that there was at least one tire slowly losing air. Truth be told, I dislike buying tires. The need for tires never comes at a
convenient time and the cost of the tires drastically outweighs the benefits I
see of having new tires. The tire store
employee checked over the tires and agreed that the four current tires had used
up their usefulness. He commented to me,
“I don’t know how you survived the winter?!”
“Well,” I replied, “It wasn’t without a little slipping and sliding.” I
had prolonged the agony of the purchase of tires, but it was time.
An hour or two later, the Beast was ready to go…no more constant
indicator light on the dashboard, and I drove away with a happier and balanced
car, as I noticed my ride just became smoother. I would be ready for the
eventual icy and snowy roads that a Minnesota winter would bring. We had known
the Beast needed new tires, but we had put it off. Not only did the Beast demand tires with actual
tread, our other car screamed that it was out of alignment, unbalanced, and
treadless, so within a month we were putting new tires on our two vehicles.
In the midst of fixing the treadless tires, I discussed with
my husband my personal challenges and I expressed to him this sentiment – that
my tread was being worn down, that I was feeling unbalanced with the weight
upon my shoulders. He said, “Well, it’s
a good thing we are going to the temple tomorrow. That will be like getting new
tires.”
As I reflected upon this idea, my mind changed towards what
new tires mean to a car and the analogy of what spiritual renewal does to my
soul. When I drive down the road, I see numerous cars – fast cars, expensive
cars, fuel-efficient small cars, hardy SUVS, new and old cars, and even
Minnesota-winter rusted cars. Regardless
of what the car may look like on the outside, I can not tell at 65 mph or even
30 mph, what the condition of the tires are for each of those cars—will the
tread on those tires carry them for another 65,000 miles, or is the tread worn
down that ice, or rocks, or potholes could easily send the car scurrying off
the paved road. I can not judge the tires by the condition of someone’s car
just as I can not judge a person’s heart or spirit by what I see on the outside
of their soul.
Our task isn’t to evaluate who needs new tires or whose
heart is in the right place (worrying about tires for my own cars and worrying
about fixing my own soul is enough). We simply need to look inward and decide –
is our heart softened enough, is our spirit strong enough, balanced enough,
full of enough spiritual air that we will be carried, that our ride will be
smooth, that we will be able to move through storms, roadblocks, and icy
patches of life, without finding ourselves being forced off of the paved road.
I don’t want to get to the end of the road of life and be
told, “I don’t know how you survived life?!” The Beast was unhappy, was
unbalanced, and was crying out that it needed help. I don’t want to go through life just slipping
and sliding -- I want to feel balanced,
I want to know that my ride will be safer and smoother even when “hail and
mighty storm[s] shall beat upon [me]”
I may have put off a new tire purchase, forgotten to rotate my
tires, failed to get my alignment checked and didn't add more air to my tires, but somehow barely
squeaked by through my first Minnesota winter, but the balancing of my heart
and my spirit requires constant care. The
more challenges that wear down my tread, the greater need to add spiritual air,
fix my balance, and add new spiritual strength.
I only have one body, one spirit to carry me through. I can’t go trade me in for the newest model,
or the perfected one with all the fancy bells and whistles. I must accept me, accept my limitations, fix
what can be fixed and keep moving forward, avoiding dead ends and wrong turns, and
strive to make my ride more balanced and smoother with constant spiritual
renewal. That is how I will get through the craziness and struggles of life. That is how I will survive life!
