My husband and I calculated the number of times we have
filled out a Change of Address form and counted 15 in the past 25 years. Yes, that is a crazy way to live life that
has come with some sacrifices and some challenges. There are two things about me that cause me
to say to myself, “I Shouldn’t Be A Mover.”
My number one strength is Connectedness and I value the connections I
have with others, so moving usually has a negative effect on my relationships as
distance makes friendships harder to maintain.
The other is that moving requires a certain amount of being adaptable,
yet my bottom strength is Adaptability. There have been times living in a new
place when I have felt lonely and discouraged.
There have been times when it's necessary to adjust to change and the
strength of being flexible and adaptable would be very helpful.
But a shift in perspective is all that is required to change
the way I view the challenges of moving.
In our numerous moves and a new understanding of how to look at a
situation from a Strengths perspective, there are two things about me that
cause me to say to myself “I Excel at Being a Mover.” My strength of Connectedness when used as a
strength helps me build relationships with others – I like to draw people into
my life, I like to learn from others, and I value friendship. Because of my desire to connect and also
knowing that I’m frustrated when I am missing connections, I look and try to
find those who need to feel a connection.
This has created some tender moments when I forget my need for
connection and instead I focus on what another person needs. The interesting thing is the effect this has
on me – I then feel connected. One move
when I was feeling particularly discouraged, I had a distinct impression that
there were others who felt the same way and as I reached out to create
friendships, my attitude changed and I created some dear friendships and had
some wonderful moments spending time with my friends.
Most people are surprised when knowing about the number of
moves we have made, they expect that I would be Adaptable. I’m really not. I despise not having a plan. As a fellow coach said, instead of going with
the flow, we “plan” for the flow. I draw upon my strength of Strategic and
Focus and I always have a plan. For me without Adaptability, I'm frustrated when I feel as I if am flying in an airplane hovering, not knowing where I will land. I want to be able to see in the distance my landing strip. Now, that plan may change, but I don’t wait and
see what happens – I willingly spend a lot of energy and time to find my landing strip. Thus when moving to a new state, I
spend a significant amount of time researching on the internet and narrow our
choices of where to move even before I step a foot into that state. With our
last move, when our house wouldn’t sell, but we needed to move in time for
school to start, it became a daily effort to figure out strategically how to
make that happen. With only two weeks
before school started, the plan finally came together.
