I Choose to Love Where I Am

A common question I am asked is, “With all the places that you have lived, what place has been your favorite?”  People are surprised when I indicate that I do not have a favorite and I refuse to do so.  I do clarify that Utah will always be home because both my husband and I were raised there, we have lived there a few different times in our married life, and much of our family still reside in Utah.  Yet, I have learned as I have been required to adjust many times that I need to look for the positive and not dwell on the differences of each place, so I refuse to declare a favorite place.  Granted some moves and adjustments have been harder than others, but if I focus solely on what used to be or how great a previous place was, I struggle harder in finding joy in a new place.

Change is never easy and sometimes I want to blame moving for challenges, but as I have learned, what positive or negative thoughts are in my head influence my attitude, my perception, and my behavior. I consciously choose to find the good and be patient with change. Moving requires us to start over—my children haven’t always been able to compete in the same sport from their previous home, new schools do things differently, and the search for new friends is at times heartbreaking and difficult. I am unable to replace the same job, or follow the same course of action, so I reinvent my new plan. 

When our typical time in one place is two years, much of the time is spent adjusting to a new move or preparing for the next.  Yes, it’s a crazy way to live life—I have said that before—but I have had the privilege of struggling to accept a move and coming to love a new place.  Also, moving is always an adventure, and there is never a dull moment when trying to figure the logistics – finding where to settle and figuring out the plan for the previous house.  But I love the challenge and I know God is watching over my family and will be there to help.

I choose to love where I am.  It is a conscious choice, and in doing so, I find joy in living.  It is not putting on rose colored glasses and ignoring the difficult challenges. Instead it’s a matter of giving space for the heartache, deciding how to make a difficult situation better, and finding a way to make things better.

For example, in one move, my girls were struggling to make friends and unhappy.  One day as I did laundry, I felt inspired to help them and we created the Friendship Club and would invite friends over for various activities. In that same move, I also felt I was missing strong connections.  It occurred to me as I prayed one day, that there may be others who also felt lonely, so my friend and I began to plan Girls Nights Out and I did my best to reach out to new people who moved in.  I came to love that place and it was one of the hardest places to leave.

For me, many of my challenges and struggles come with moving, but each of us will face a variety of difficult situations and circumstances.  We can’t always determine what happens as many things are out of our control.  Finding joy in living doesn’t come from a perfect life, but from finding the way through life’s obstacles, developing the strength to endure, and discovering the power to choose our response.