Friday, July 27, 2012

I am not alone for I have a strong foundation


At times in my life, I find myself alone.  Sometimes, I feel alone because I moved and it takes time to create friendships.  Sometimes, I feel alone as I battle my inner struggles of fear, discouragement, and negativity.  Sometimes, I feel alone because I separate myself from the world and stand for what I believe, unwilling to let worldly influences overtake me.  Sometimes, I feel alone weighed down by the struggles of parenting and of trying to teach children correct principles.
Then, I look and see the bricks and the mortar which make up my foundation, and I realize I am not truly ever alone.  Instead of withering in grief and despair, I seek solace, and know I may stumble, but I cannot fall because I have a sure foundation, solidly built by many hands, and that knowledge carries me through.  I weather the stormy clouds and seek help upon my knees, in the scriptures, through the comforting words of others, through recalling my past experiences, and through seeking perspective.  And I come to understand--I am not alone for I have a strong foundation built brick upon brick.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Writing Assignment: Word Avoidance

For my creative writing class, one assigment required me to take a word given and write about that word without ever using that word.  At first this assignment appeared daunting, but then after I chose the word and looked up the definition, I started to imagine how I could describe the word:


Decadence--the act of falling into an inferior condition, decay; moral degeneration; unrestrained, excessive self-indulgence.

I first thought of a favorite childhood book, The Little House, by Virgina Lee Burton, about a house which fell into disrepair.  Then, I went to the internet and searched for an old, broken down house, and found an image of a old, run-down mansion, still in existence today in Louisville, Kentucky which became the basis for my writing. 



The stately, old house now appears lonely and forbidding – a reminder of forgotten memories and dreams.  Once the strong foundation elevated the noble house, but negligence and inattention caused the foundation to begin to crumble.  The peeling paint upon the wooden planks expose the structure to the biting elements of the cold winter and the hot summer days.  Broken windows no longer bring light into the rooms, as plywood nailed to the windows block entrance of light into the home. Cobwebs gather dust throughout every corner of the home. The wooden steps of the grand staircase creak with the slightest pressure, as if one would fall through with every step. The wind blows through the holes and cracks of the dilapidated house tossing and turning whatever lays in its path. The depth of the darkness lingers in each room. Weeds overrun the flowerbeds, vines entangle around the home, climbing through the windows and into the cracks. No laughter penetrates the walls; though rustling of the unseen vermin nesting within the walls can be heard.  Once watched over and protected, the house lies in ruin, almost unrecognizable of its former glory.

Some in today’s world appear lonely and forgotten, their compass no longer points true north, as they sought pleasure over principles, disregarding any consequences of their actions.

Their foundation crumbles under the weight of permissiveness, unrighteousness, and disregard for laws and order. Continually pulling back the layers of self-control and self-respect leaves their souls exposed to the elements of destruction. Broken hearts and broken dreams littered all around them, engulfing despair prevents light to penetrate. The feelings of bitterness, fear, and loneliness gather dust in the corners of their hearts and minds. They feel trapped, afraid to move forward because the slightest pressure of their next step may cause them to fall further down. The wind freely blows them whichever way it chooses and causes shivers to run down their spine. The light in their eyes diminishes, till its barely discernible. The beauty of their soul withers unable to handle the scorching heat of pride and corruption. The entanglement of sin binds their thoughts and actions limiting their ability to freely choose. Joyous laughter becomes replaced by cynical cackling. Once watched over and protected, their souls lie in ruin, almost unrecognizable of their former glory.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

My Mom

Throughout my years as a young parent, I would call my mom on the phone and share with her my frustrations or  difficulties.  Most of the time she just listened, sometimes she gave me and advice, and sometimes she just tried to let me know she understood that parenting can be difficult.  She came to visit when I needed her, whether for the birth of a child or for a daughter's surgery.  I knew I could count on her.

In 1996, she received the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.  This proved to be life altering, but she fought this disease for as long as she could.  In the last few years of her life, the MS took over, exerting more control over her body and mind.  No longer could I rely on my mom to be my listening ear. When she realized that she needed a wheelchair, she fell into a deep depression. I became her listening ear.  I would call her and she would just cry and wish to die.  For three more years, we watched my mom suffer.  Over time, she lost much of her mobility and her ability to communicate diminished.  My mom and dad always taught their children to serve by example, and now we relished in the opportunity to serve my mom.

She worried when she first received the diagnosis about being a burden to her family, but my dad stayed by her side, focused solely on meeting her every need.  He showed a great example of unconditional love to which I shall ever be grateful for.  We gladly bore the burden of caring for my mom because she had always been there for us when we needed her.  Now, we returned that service.

Last August, my mom went in for surgery, but suffered complications from the surgery, and a quick stay at the hospital turned into weeks, followed by a rehab center.  I flew in to see her in October at the rehab center.  How glad I was to see her, but I hated seeing her suffer. I held her hand as she struggled through her physical and occupational therapy.  She said, “I can’t.”  I said, “Don’t say I can’t, say ‘I know it’s hard, but I’ll try.” That's what she had taught me throughout my life.


I did not make it back to hold her hand one last time, but I will forever cherish the weekend I spent with her at rehab—calming her anxiety, expressing my love, encouraging her to keep trying, and being there because she needed me.  She looked up at me when I arrived and said, “Ah, Kimberly’s here.” Yes, Mom I am here because you were always there when I needed you and now I am here because you needed me.
She fought a tough battle and caring for her was a burden we gladly bore simply because she was our Mom and Dad’s eternal companion.  She endured many challenges and I shall ever be grateful for a mom who taught me to serve, to love, to endure, to reach for my goals. I thank her for the example she was to me.

The Foundation of Our Society is Strong Families

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