A Partnership Marriage

If there is one thing most people know about my life, it is we have moved many times in our married life. In those moves, we have faced many decisions—what jobs to consider, what city to live in, what house to buy, what jobs to avoid.  Many times, we would get to plan Z before things would finally fall into place. With the moves have come some significant challenges—jobs that didn't work out, houses that wouldn't sell, plans that fell apart, the list goes on... 

Sometimes a husband may believe that his role as head of the house gives him a right to be exacting and to arbitrarily prescribe what his wife should do. But in a home established on a righteous foundation, the relationship of a man and a woman should be one of partnership. A husband should not make decrees. Rather, he should work with his wife until a joint decision palatable to both is developed ( H. Burke Peterson, Ensign, July 1989, p. 9).  

If there is one thing about our marriage that helped it survive and flourish, it is the only way we have survived the craziness of moving is we went into each job, each change as partners. As we considered new jobs, we would have long discussions about the potential change. My husband would respect my reservations if I felt a job or the timing was not right. I would listen to his frustrations and try to be open to change. 

They [husbands and wives] should be one in harmony, respect, and mutual consideration. Neither should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide together… Remember that neither the wife nor the husband is the slave of the other. Husbands and wives are equal partners, particularly Latter-day Saint husbands and wives (Marion G. Romney, Ensign, March 1978, pp. 2–4).  

If there is one thing I know about decisions to move, it is those decisions must be made together. Sometimes, I would receive specific revelation about a move and my husband would honor that revelation. I am really good at narrowing choices down.  Sometimes before I even stepped a foot into a new state, I would know the cities or neighborhoods for our family to move to. One time, I even had our choice narrowed to one street within a neighborhood. My husband on the other hand prefers to keep an open mind and wants to consider all possible choices. Often, I would reevaluate and broaden the research and then he would trust me and accept my fewer choices until we found the right place and we both agreed to it. 

When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affections, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities. We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives." (President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, May, 1988, p. 4) 

If there is one thing about God I know, He has been there with us for every move. We have seen miracles happen. When one home we had found to rent fell through just a few weeks before moving, a few days later, we found an incredible rental that was perfect for our family.  When discouragement set in because a plan didn't come together, I heard inspiring words in my heart that brought me out of despair. When experiencing one stress after another stress while preparing to move, God showed me that though there were many difficult and stressful moments, each of those moments had a blessing attached to it. 

Life comes with challenges. Marriage requires patience, love, and a desire to work together as partners. We are better off if we seek God's help to guide and direct our paths. If there is one thing I know, a partnership marriage is the best kind of marriage to have.