Week #11 Transitions in Marriage

Creating a Soul Mate

In the Doctrine & Covenants, it reads "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and cleave unto her and none else." Marriages would be saved, endure, and made beautiful if this counsel was adhered to. Kenneth Matheson warned that if we allow others in to take the place of our spouses it has potential to lead to broken marriages. "Emotional infidelity, which occurs when emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse, is an insidious threat that can weaken the trust between a couple and shatter peace of mind. Emotional infidelity doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs gradually—often imperceptibly at first. This is one reason why those involved often feel innocent of any wrongdoing." 

If such a thing occurs gradually, then we need to be careful and guard ourselves, our hearts and our feelings. President Dieter Uchtdorf stated, "Although I have said that I do not believe in a one-and-only soul mate for anyone, I do know this: once you commit to being married, your spouse becomes your soul mate, and it is your duty and responsibility to work every day to keep it that way. Once you have committed, the search for a soul mate is over. Our thoughts and actions turn from looking to creating." 

How do I create my soul mate? 

With all my heart—I love unconditionally from my very core, until that love radiates out and into my soul mate 

With all my mind—I ask "What can I do for my soul mate?" "How will I remember him this day?" "What does he need?" and I see and find the best in him and then he becomes the best 

With all my soul—we become one as we come closer to God. I feel his pain.  I know his heart. I believe I can't live without him. 

With all my strength—I build him up when he is down and stand hand-in-hand to face life's challenges together. 

With all my might—using all my power and energy, I give my everything—my love, my passion, my dreams, my hopes, my sorrows, my insecurities to create a lasting and enduring marriage that will stand the test of time 

  

A soul mate doesn't magically appear and we ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. A soul mate becomes that through seeing, believing, and creating my spouse to be my soul mate.