How I Came to Appreciate the Dreaded Task of Buying New Tires

I finally took my Yukon into the store for new tires.  The Beast, as our Yukon is affectionately called, did not seem happy, and the low tire sensor was determined to constantly remind me that there was at least one tire slowly losing air.  Truth be told, I dislike buying tires.  The need for tires never comes at a convenient time and the cost of the tires drastically outweighs the benefits I see of having new tires.  The tire store employee checked over the tires and agreed that the four current tires had used up their usefulness.  He commented to me, “I don’t know how you survived the winter?!”  “Well,” I replied, “It wasn’t without a little slipping and sliding.” I had prolonged the agony of the purchase of tires, but it was time.

An hour or two later, the Beast was ready to go…no more constant indicator light on the dashboard, and I drove away with a happier and balanced car, as I noticed my ride just became smoother. I would be ready for the eventual icy and snowy roads that a Minnesota winter would bring. We had known the Beast needed new tires, but we had put it off.  Not only did the Beast demand tires with actual tread, our other car screamed that it was out of alignment, unbalanced, and treadless, so within a month we were putting new tires on our two vehicles.

In the midst of fixing the treadless tires, I discussed with my husband my personal challenges and I expressed to him this sentiment – that my tread was being worn down, that I was feeling unbalanced with the weight upon my shoulders.  He said, “Well, it’s a good thing we are going to the temple tomorrow. That will be like getting new tires.”

As I reflected upon this idea, my mind changed towards what new tires mean to a car and the analogy of what spiritual renewal does to my soul. When I drive down the road, I see numerous cars – fast cars, expensive cars, fuel-efficient small cars, hardy SUVS, new and old cars, and even Minnesota-winter rusted cars.  Regardless of what the car may look like on the outside, I can not tell at 65 mph or even 30 mph, what the condition of the tires are for each of those cars—will the tread on those tires carry them for another 65,000 miles, or is the tread worn down that ice, or rocks, or potholes could easily send the car scurrying off the paved road. I can not judge the tires by the condition of someone’s car just as I can not judge a person’s heart or spirit by what I see on the outside of their soul.

Our task isn’t to evaluate who needs new tires or whose heart is in the right place (worrying about tires for my own cars and worrying about fixing my own soul is enough). We simply need to look inward and decide – is our heart softened enough, is our spirit strong enough, balanced enough, full of enough spiritual air that we will be carried, that our ride will be smooth, that we will be able to move through storms, roadblocks, and icy patches of life, without finding ourselves being forced off of the paved road.

I don’t want to get to the end of the road of life and be told, “I don’t know how you survived life?!” The Beast was unhappy, was unbalanced, and was crying out that it needed help.  I don’t want to go through life just slipping and sliding  -- I want to feel balanced, I want to know that my ride will be safer and smoother even when “hail and mighty storm[s] shall beat upon [me]”

I may have put off a new tire purchase, forgotten to rotate my tires, failed to get  my alignment checked and didn't add more air to my tires, but somehow barely squeaked by through my first Minnesota winter, but the balancing of my heart and my spirit requires constant care.  The more challenges that wear down my tread, the greater need to add spiritual air, fix my balance, and add new spiritual strength.  I only have one body, one spirit to carry me through.  I can’t go trade me in for the newest model, or the perfected one with all the fancy bells and whistles.  I must accept me, accept my limitations, fix what can be fixed and keep moving forward, avoiding dead ends and wrong turns, and strive to make my ride more balanced and smoother with constant spiritual renewal. That is how I will get through the craziness and struggles of life.  That is how I will survive life!

A Forever Family, that Eternal Bond Makes Life Worth Living

Last summer was anything but relaxing.  In between moves, we spent the summer with family.  Beset by many challenges and with my family scattered, I focused on putting pieces of our move together and dealing with many stresses.  As I needed a break from the constant personal challenges, my young children and I began our Harry Potter Marathon, watching Harry grow from the insecure 11 year old, to the angry 15 year old, to the confident and determined 17 year old.  I loved reliving Harry's life again (as Harry had been an important part of my boys'  childhood) and I felt sad when our Movie Marathon ended.  As I watched Harry Potter defeat Lord Voldemort for the last time and thinking of Jordan, miles away serving a church mission in Guatemala, I realized yes my son’s childhood and living under our roof has ended, but time can not erase all I taught him, it can not erase my love for my son, it can not erase my memories.  For “…help will always be given to those who ask for it….Words are… our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it…. Help will always be given to those who deserve it…Pity all those who live without love.”  (Quoting a wise Dumbledore)

Thank you Harry.  I  learned once again that life is always worth living when you love others and when others love you – no matter the challenges or struggles we face –its all worth it, if we don’t have to face it all alone. Children grow older, we let them go, even though we would rather hold on longer, but my love for them shall never cease. And may my children know, that no matter what, they do not have to face life alone because they have a family who loves them.  We may not be a perfect family, we may not always get along, conflicts may arise, but we are a forever family, and that eternal bond makes life worth living.

Out of My Comfort Zone, and Into a Whole New Me

I stepped out of my comfort zone to be the Project Manager on our house we just built.  I felt nervous wondering if I was up to this challenge.  It was beyond anything I had ever done before.  There may have been those who questioned our decision to build our house since we possessed little knowledge and experience in home building.  But as we have moved many times across many miles to new surroundings, I felt that I had overcome fear of going into the unknown.

 We did not have a General Contractor or a builder.  Ray had a friend who jumpstarted us and talked us into this project. A couple months into building, I basically took over – and I was the one on the front lines – meeting the subs at the house, helping resolve issues, calling and setting up appointments, and meeting the workers at the house. Ray and I made a great team.  He helped with the technical issues and we worked together to resolve the problems.  We would definitely build again, but I think we shall enjoy this house for a very long time.

In this process of building our house, I discovered a Whole New Me.  I absolutely loved making decisions and the process of picking out the interior items—not only was I the Project Manager, I also was the Interior Designer. I loved walking into a store, looking at all my options, narrowing them down and then ultimately making the choice of what product to buy. I liked working and talking with people.  I learned I was a good problem solver, as I would focus on finding solutions, not on getting angry at the problem or deciding whom to blame.  When I didn’t know the answer to the technical issues, I would ask questions and discuss with others until I could comfortably make a decision. I discovered people enjoyed working with me. Since my efforts to focus on the solution, respond quickly to calls and emails, and to make prompt decisions, I created good working relationships with the subs.  Giving respect and being quick to respond are traits that in turn allowed others to respect me even though most of them knew that I was new at this whole building process. 

I loved building.  It was at times daunting and time-consuming, but I loved the process.  Maybe its all those puzzles I have put together or math problems I have solved, but I am always about finding solutions and completing the job.  And in the end, we have an awesome house.  We were able to do something incredible.  In only 5 months and most of those being winter months, we did it!

I jumped into this project hoping I was up to the challenge.  And I discovered a whole new me.  I didn’t know that I had the traits necessary to lead the building of a house. It’s not easy to step out of your comfort zone, but for me it was so worth it.  I am a new person with a new sense of confidence and new skills. I have a house I love.  All I can say is WOW!

A Tender Christmas Memory

One particular year, I was working with three mentally handicapped children in a group home.  They lived with a family and I would come to the family’s house and help these three boys work on goals and help them with basic life skills. On that first night of Christmas lights, the daughter in the family was scheduled to perform at Temple Square in the North Visitors Center and I was scheduled to work, so a friend and I and two of the boys drove to Temple Square. This first night tends to be a very busy night with throngs of people finding their way around Temple Square. My job that night was to lead Shaun, while my friend helped Jason, through the crowds and to the Visitor’s Center and meet up with the family. We slowly made our way through the crowds.  In the North Visitors Center, we stopped at the bottom of the ramp leading to the Christus, as we decided whether to head upstairs to find the singing group or to go downstairs.  At the moment we reached the ramp, tears came into my eyes as I thought of the boy I was guiding.  Shaun’s time on earth would most likely be shortened.  In his condition (born with an enlarged heart, a decreased lung capacity, and unable to talk), his body had to fight hard and yet he had made it through nearly 18 years, long past what the doctors expected.

As I stood unaware of all the people around me, I envisioned that soon Shaun would probably make that journey and that his time on earth would be short.  One day he would return to heaven and to his Savior, Jesus Christ.  I pictured in my mind Shaun moving through through space towards Jesus. I saw Jesus take him in his arms and express to Shaun the love He has for Shaun.  My vision lasted for just a small moment, but it was a beautiful picture. I knew then that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love all of us, regardless of our handicaps or circumstances, and they long for us to return to live with them again.

Every time I return to the North Visitors Center, I reflect upon that night twenty-three years ago.  As I slowly walk up the ramp, I picture sweet Shaun in my mind.  The boy who loved Bruce Springsteen’s song, “Born in the USA” and would dance excitedly every time that song was played, but now he is no longer hampered by his physical body.  He is with his Savior and one day I will see him again and I will run to him and put my arms around him and I will thank him for allowing me to serve him while he was here on earth. 

(Jason is pictured on the left and Shaun is on the right.  They helped at my wedding reception.  Their job was to help take the gifts as people came in.)

A Force Shield of Protection

It had been a rough day.  I was feeling frustrated about the challenges of moving and seeing my children being required to adapt once again to their new surroundings.  I found myself home in the evening alone while all our children were at the church with activities.  I decided to work on my talk for the upcoming Sunday.  I had added a story from a previous adventure through a snow storm.  My talk spoke of gratitude even in our challenges, and that night, as I felt weighed down by my challenges and I was truly working to find gratitude for these challenges and help in dealing with them.  I had gone through my talk numerous times already (I am not normal -- I love giving talks, I love the entire process, and I work really hard to prepare).  This time as I read that story out loud an incredible thing happened and I saw more to the story then I had every realized before. It was an emotional and incredible moment -- to see what had been a tender story take on even a greater significance. Jonny's answer to prayer has always meant so much to me, but then to compare what I had experienced during that snow storm in a couple different ways to Christ's Atonement and to how he helps each of us deal with challenges was a new way of looking at the same story. I shall never regret our decision to go through the storm, because I now personally know how Christ will be our foundation and help us through the storms of life. I needed that knowledge after a frustrating day. I can face life, even when I want to shrink from my challenges, because I know that Christ will still be there to help me.

Here is the rest of the story: 

Once when traveling as a family in a severe snowstorm in the Sierras, my frightened 7-year old son worried over our safety.  He prayed and then shortly later informed us that the answer was Yes! Yes, Jesus would protect us; He had put a force shield over our car.  A few hours later we were still on the road, detoured off of 1-80, around Lake Tahoe both directions, and now on Highway 50.  The night was late, it was dark, the road was icy, the mountain treacherous, the drop-off intimidating.  The blinding snow coming directly at our windshield.  Ray felt we would be ok; he had the skills and the determination to see us through.  We followed a snowplow for a while until it turned around, and we were left primarily alone to see our family safely through the snowstorm.  All of our six children were peacefully sleeping in the back, unaware of the increase in the storms intensity.  

At one point, our car slipped, turned 90 degrees and stopped right in its place—the force shield had held.  What normally took us 2 hours to drive from Reno to Sacramento became a 7-hour ordeal for us.  Ray and I carried the burden of getting our family safely through the storm and brought our family safely home. Just as Christ once said, Here I am, send me. He came to earth, sacrificed and Atoned for our sins and made it possible that we could one day safely return to God.  His Atonement acts as a force shield that makes it possible to weather the storms of life.  

At times, we may be like Ray, confident, determined and have the necessary skills to make it through the raging storms.  At other times, we may be like me, battling fears and just holding on hoping that Christ will protect us and that we can weather the storm.  Or some times we may be like our children who slumbered that late night in the mountains in California, who were protected from knowing the magnitude of the storm.  Each of us in that car, Ray, myself, and our children experienced something different that night, but each of us were still protected by the force shield placed over our car.