I know it’s the natural course of life for children to age,
but as a parent I look back and wonder how come they grow up so fast?! It
appears though that I on the other hand do not seem to be growing older, well
at least in appearance to other people. Most new people I meet express complete
amazement when they 1st learn how many children I have, 2nd
the age of my oldest child, and 3rd that I am older than 40.
Truth be told, my oldest turned 21 today. I wish I could
celebrate with him, but alas he is 2600+ miles away and I am left to emails,
pictures, and memories and his face on a stick at our breakfast celebration. I
wouldn’t have it any other way.
Two years ago I attended the last Harry Potter movie. I believe I may have been the only one in the
movie theater crying. I had enjoyed the books and then the movies. Harry had been there while I was raising
Jordan and I didn’t want those moments in time to end, but Jordan had just
graduated the month before. Harry and
Jordan had grown up together. From a 1st
grader plopped on my bed as we read the first Harry Potter book. Each book thereafter, Jordan devoured. The
movies began when Jordan and Harry were about the same age, so they both lived thru
their teenage years at the same time. So
yes I didn’t want the Harry Potter movies to end, just as I didn’t want Jordan
to graduate and begin a life as a college student and adult away from home.
As a parent, you quickly learn life is not about what you
want, part of parenting is learning to let go.
It’s a process, not always easy, but there is no turning back the clock,
or slowing time, nor stopping kids from growing up. Letting go began long before Jordan turned 18
and graduated from high school. When
Jordan, who was almost six and starting Kindergarten, decided he would walk to
school by himself. He did not need me to
come with him. We lived close enough to
the school, that he could do this, but he ensured me he knew the way and would
be fine. I wanted to help him. As the first day of school approached, he
consented that he still needed his Mom and that I could walk him to end of the
street, that was all he needed.
In the middle of his 1st grade year, we moved
to Arizona. He was upset he had to miss
even 1 day of school, as we had to drive from Utah to Arizona. On a Friday, I took him to his new school,
and again I let him go. He knew no one,
and I worried, but I let him go.
As a junior in high school, Jordan was asked to
participate in the Every 15 Minutes Program, which consisted of a staged drunk
driving accident, and other students participated by being taken from class and
obituaries read (the students who participated spent a night away from home and
then were reunited at the school with friends and family the next day). In preparing for him to participate, I wrote
an obituary. I imagined what it would be
like to actually let him go, never from my heart, never from our eternal
family, but from life itself.
A life was cut short today, Jordan Ray
Oborn, also known as “Utah” to his classmates and coaches, passed away at the
age of 17 on March 23, 2010, following injuries sustained in a fatal car
accident.
He
was born October 2, 1992 to Raymond and Kimberly Oborn. He has three younger brothers, Aaron, Jacob,
and Jonathan, and two younger sisters, Annalisa and Abigail. He is also survived by his grandparents,
Mildred Oborn, of Murray, Utah and Timothy and Carolyn Noyce of South Jordan,
Utah.
Jordan
was a junior at Lincoln High School, a member of the Fighting Zebras varsity
football team, a great student, almost an Eagle Scout, and the best son parents
could ever ask for. He was a member of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He had a great love for life, for learning,
and for people. He accepted each time
his parents moved and had lived in Utah, Illinois, Arizona, Indiana, Colorado,
and California. He was an avid
University of Utah fan, and would dress daily as a Ute fan.
He
was preparing for his future – looking forward to college and going on a
mission. He wanted to be an inventor or
entrepreneur and imagined himself coming up with a great discovery. He was kind, respectful, determined to
succeed, a hard worker, and an awesome son!
He will surely be missed.
Then again, I had to let go.
This time for two years as he left to serve a mission for the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Guatemala.
Again as I anticipated letting go, I turned to writing:
There I see a
missionary embarking
To preach the
Gospel to all who will listen
Far from home and
family,
But protected by a
loving Heavenly Father.
There I am… a
mother kneeling
At the side of the
bed
Praying to God to
bless this son
For I love this
young man as only a mother can.
“Please God.
Protect my child.
Let him never feel
all alone.
Be by his side
when he is in need
And guide his hand
to do Thy work.”
There I am… a
smiling mother
Though tears run
down my face
I feel privileged
to be called his Mother,
But now I let him
go and hand him over to God.
Yes, I have had to learn to let go, and I am continually
learning that lesson, as one by one his siblings get closer and closer to that
day when they will venture forward. No
matter where my children go in life, I may physically let them go, they
may at times be 2600 miles away, but they will never be forgotten for I hold
onto memories in my mind and feelings of love and tenderness in my heart. I
pray I have given them the ability to fly on their own and they know that each of them shall forever be my child.
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