Forget Algebra, My Life Feels Like Solving Calculus Problems

How long will it take for two cars traveling at 75-80mph from Utah to arrive in Minneapolis, Minnesota a distance of about 1300 miles?  If our cars leave on Friday morning and travel two days, and my husband flies by plane on Saturday (due to being unable to travel by car as he just had back surgery) at what time will we both arrive into Minneapolis?  These are simple distance, rate, time questions which we just experienced as we moved our family (with the help of my dad as a 2^nd driver) to our new destination.

 As a former aide who has worked with many Algebra students, I have repeatedly listened to students question, “Why do we have to learn Algebra?  We are never going to use this.”  A few times in response I delve into my life analogy comparing Algebra to the real world.  Algebra is all about learning the steps to solve the problems.  The more students learn the steps the better they can apply these teachings to more difficult problems. Algebra is constantly building upon itself.  The basic understanding of the foundation of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, fractions, and decimals increases the likelihood that it will be easier to understand the steps. 

As I would try to explain how Algebra is like life because in life there will be numerous problems to solve and there is no easy way to get from the beginning of a problem to the solution without understanding the steps and then working through the steps until the problem is resolved and a solution is found.  I don’t know that any of the students who I shared this philosophy with appreciated my comments.  They didn’t like Algebra, sometimes a strong foundation of basic math principles was lacking, and they didn’t want to work through the steps to get the correct answer.  They hoped for an easy way to get to the answer and they didn’t always care whether they got to the correct answer.

Sometimes, I wish my life had the simple Algebra word problems of time, distance, and rate, but my life feels more like the Calculus and Linear Algebra problems I did in college.  Occasionally, those problems would require an entire page to work through the problems and even then I would end up with the incorrect answer.  That meant I would be tossing that paper and starting the problem over from the beginning!

For the problem listed above about the time required to travel from Utah to Minnesota, Point A actually begin in California, Point B was supposed to be New Jersey, but when the New Jersey job turned to a grinding halt, I crumbled up the sheet and my husband and I began to solve the problem again.  A month later the correct steps were determined and we began solving the problem of moving to Minnesota.  Even then the problem wasn’t quickly solved, for we first planned to move to one city, but then for various reasons pulled out of buying that house and began a new problem until we found the right answer – to build a home with the help of my husband’s friend and coworker in the small town of Chaska, Minnesota on a beautiful and peaceful piece of land.

As a math student, I loved getting to the right answer and would diligently work until I discovered the correct answer.  Sometimes, it would engulf all of my attention  -- for the simple reason of just wanting to get from Point A to Point B, from the beginning to the end, from the problem to the solution with the absolute correct answer.  As a student of life, I love getting to the right answer and I have worked diligently to discover the correct answer with each problem I have faced in life.  There is no giving up and tossing in the towel and crumbling up the paper refusing to try again because there is no running away from life, problems do exist and always will, but solutions can be found.  In my case, I rarely find solutions the easy way, it has taken a lot of hard work, perseverance, a pile of crumpled steps, but oh how happy I am when I get to the right answer! Let the new adventure begin…

What a Summer!

About 60 days ago (give or take a few), our summer began, but this summer would prove to be far from ordinary as we layover in Utah with family waiting to move to our new destination of Minnesota.  After one particular difficult week this summer where every day some stressful thing would happen, and I would say what next, what will be the next challenge to deal with, I was feeling completely overwhelmed.  To prevent myself from turning cynically, pessimistic, or fearing each new day, I knew I had to do something.  For me doing something occurs by writing.  Through writing, I process in my mind how to approach my challenges and the things that transpire in my life.  Through writing, my thinking changes. Through writing, I find a way to deal with whatever life throws at me.  This time, through writing I discovered something amazing. 

Yet when I first sat down to write, I didn’t know what that discovery would be or exactly what I was trying to accomplish. One night after everyone else was asleep, I sat writing in my online journal.  I wrote every challenge I could think of that had occurred since June. I wasn’t trying to complain and I wasn’t sure what I would accomplish, but I began with #1 Ray injures his back the day he flew home for Aaron’s graduation and Moving Day.

The list continued…#6 I am trying to clean our vacant house and feeling overwhelmed with the task.  #10, 11, 12 getting three children ready –one for a Germany trip, one for college, and one for Girls Camp--all made more difficult because we were temporarily staying with my dad and two of them were flying back to California before their trips. #13 An unsympathetic police office issued me a ticket for missing a neighborhood stop sign at the end of a very stressful day.  The list continued on and on—we changed our minds on the home we intended to buy and had to reconfigure the city, school, and ward, we listed our rental house for sale, our Yukon was hit by the garbage truck while parked in front of my dad’s house, we decide to build a new home in Minnesota and then struggle to find a suitable short term rental, our a/c unit freezes up on the house that is for sale… the list continued to #41.

I finished the list and understood why I felt overwhelmed, yet I didn’t know what to do with this list. It took a couple days, but then I realized something incredible.  Through the list of challenges, I began to see the tender mercies of God helping me and I could almost match up each of the 41 challenges to a tender mercy.  Dear friends came and helped me clean the kitchen. Great friends in Northern California helped us get another rental house sold and issues there resolved. Though in temporary conditions, our children got to spend quality time with cousins who they don’t see often. My children had great experiences on their trips and were kept safe.  Even the ticket from the unsympathetic police office turned into the beginning of an essay for my creative writing class. We had an incredible experience being guided to a great area to build a new home in a small, little town, and we had an amazing spiritual experience in our first visit to our new ward. We sold our Utah rental house and finally we won’t have to be unintentional landlords.

Yes, there are challenges brought on by moving.  Yes, life isn’t easy, but once again, I have learned I am not alone and I wouldn’t change my life for any other life.

I wouldn't CHANGE my life for any other life

There is a word in the English language that I know very well – the word is CHANGE. In two weeks, my families’ lives change once again and moving boxes are scattered throughout our house. Boxes full of memories, full of our belongings – waiting to be packed up, loaded on the truck, and eventually moved to a new home. Soon our address will indicate the seventh state we have lived in. New neighbors will surround us and our children will walk through the doors of new schools hoping to find friendly faces and good experiences.

Since I know the word CHANGE very well, I realize I don’t always know what to expect, but I know what I will eventually find. Yes, there will be challenges brought on by moving. Yes, I will be required to adapt – our children sometimes have to redefine themselves when they move. Yes, at times I will feel the loneliness of a new environment. Yes, no new place can ever be the same as the one left behind. 

This is what CHANGE has taught me – though a new place may not be the same as the previous place, it is in its own right our new home. My attitude is the determining factor to quality adaptation. Don’t feel pity for me that familiarity is a rarity because this is my burden to carry, and because I know the burden of moving all to well, I have become good at all moving requires.

By nature, I am a quiet and reserved person. By my environment, I have become more than I am. I have learned to adapt, to take life as it comes, to face challenges directly, to seek solutions, to seek God’s help, to reach out to others, to immediately jump into serving in new places.

Don’t get me wrong – there are times I feel overwhelmed, there are times when I wish CHANGE wasn't so constant, there are times when I have had to change plan after plan that I wanted to cry out – I am tired –where is the simple life?! There are times when I have ached watching my children struggle to adapt. I marvel when I hear others tell how they live as adults in the same area they grew up as a child. I can’t fathom what that would be like. My life is different than others, my children can’t simply state with one or two words where they identify their childhood home. We don’t simply have one home to call home.

I have called many homes HOME. I have incredible stories to tell. I have friends we have made in our many adventures. I have had to say goodbye many times only to turn around and say hello to a new adventure. I have experienced this so many times that fear of unfamiliarity has diminished. I have seen God’s guiding hand assist us. I have seen new places become favorite places. I have struggled through trials, and witnessed beautiful things happen and I have had multiple prayers answered.

I have learned through CHANGE that fear turns to faith, the unknown becomes the familiar, and my children’s unhappiness lessens as they come to love a new place. CHANGE is difficult, CHANGE is challenging, CHANGE shows us God’s guiding hand, and CHANGE becomes an incredible blessing, a redefining life, and a new adventure. I wouldn’t CHANGE my life for any other life.

Why I am a Mormon

My Heart Weeps for this World

My Heart Weeps For this World

I live in a world

Where unimaginable tragedies occur

I live in a world

Where sorrows are heaped upon others

I live in world

Where so many bear pain and grief

I live in a world

Where souls succumb to evil temptations

 I long for a world of peace

Where anger and wrath cannot exist

I long for a world of kindness

Where the Golden Rule triumphs

I long for a world of happiness

Where smiling countenances abound

I shall establish a world

Where I stand and fight evil

I shall create a world

Where I love and serve my fellowmen

I shall make my world

A better place where faith and hope exist

I shall build a world

Where good overcomes evil

I cannot change the actions of evil men

But evil men will not change my actions

Because I will not lose hope

I will not falter even when

Dark clouds gather far and wide

For one day, I will live in a world

Where evil cannot exist

I will live in a world

Where Jesus Christ reigns

For now, I will live my life
With faith, hope, and peace
And when my heart weeps for this World,
I will cry out, Don't lose hope
For God is crying, too.

I am not alone for I have a strong foundation

At times in my life, I find myself alone.  Sometimes, I feel alone because I moved and it takes time to create friendships.  Sometimes, I feel alone as I battle my inner struggles of fear, discouragement, and negativity.  Sometimes, I feel alone because I separate myself from the world and stand for what I believe, unwilling to let worldly influences overtake me.  Sometimes, I feel alone weighed down by the struggles of parenting and of trying to teach children correct principles.

Then, I look and see the bricks and the mortar which make up my foundation, and I realize I am not truly ever alone.  Instead of withering in grief and despair, I seek solace, and know I may stumble, but I cannot fall because I have a sure foundation, solidly built by many hands, and that knowledge carries me through.  I weather the stormy clouds and seek help upon my knees, in the scriptures, through the comforting words of others, through recalling my past experiences, and through seeking perspective.  And I come to understand--I am not alone for I have a strong foundation built brick upon brick.

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Writing Assignment: Word Avoidance

For my creative writing class, one assigment required me to take a word given and write about that word without ever using that word.  At first this assignment appeared daunting, but then after I chose the word and looked up the definition, I started to imagine how I could describe the word:

Decadence--the act of falling into an inferior condition, decay; moral degeneration; unrestrained, excessive self-indulgence.

I first thought of a favorite childhood book, The Little House, by Virgina Lee Burton, about a house which fell into disrepair.  Then, I went to the internet and searched for an old, broken down house, and found an image of a old, run-down mansion, still in existence today in Louisville, Kentucky which became the basis for my writing. 

The stately, old house now appears lonely and forbidding – a reminder of forgotten memories and dreams.  Once the strong foundation elevated the noble house, but negligence and inattention caused the foundation to begin to crumble.  The peeling paint upon the wooden planks expose the structure to the biting elements of the cold winter and the hot summer days.  Broken windows no longer bring light into the rooms, as plywood nailed to the windows block entrance of light into the home. Cobwebs gather dust throughout every corner of the home. The wooden steps of the grand staircase creak with the slightest pressure, as if one would fall through with every step. The wind blows through the holes and cracks of the dilapidated house tossing and turning whatever lays in its path. The depth of the darkness lingers in each room. Weeds overrun the flowerbeds, vines entangle around the home, climbing through the windows and into the cracks. No laughter penetrates the walls; though rustling of the unseen vermin nesting within the walls can be heard.  Once watched over and protected, the house lies in ruin, almost unrecognizable of its former glory.

Some in today’s world appear lonely and forgotten, their compass no longer points true north, as they sought pleasure over principles, disregarding any consequences of their actions.

Their foundation crumbles under the weight of permissiveness, unrighteousness, and disregard for laws and order. Continually pulling back the layers of self-control and self-respect leaves their souls exposed to the elements of destruction. Broken hearts and broken dreams littered all around them, engulfing despair prevents light to penetrate. The feelings of bitterness, fear, and loneliness gather dust in the corners of their hearts and minds. They feel trapped, afraid to move forward because the slightest pressure of their next step may cause them to fall further down. The wind freely blows them whichever way it chooses and causes shivers to run down their spine. The light in their eyes diminishes, till its barely discernible. The beauty of their soul withers unable to handle the scorching heat of pride and corruption. The entanglement of sin binds their thoughts and actions limiting their ability to freely choose. Joyous laughter becomes replaced by cynical cackling. Once watched over and protected, their souls lie in ruin, almost unrecognizable of their former glory.