Life is a Journey, Enjoy Each Step You Take

Learning from past experiences by writing

Currently, I am enrolled in a Creative Non-fiction Writing class. I love this class and enjoy learning how to be a better writer.  Writing proves to be an amazing process to me.  As I write through my thought processes, I discover things I never fully understand before or sometimes it helps me to change my perspective on my current or past situations.

Recently for my class, I wrote about a past time in my life which I consider one of the most challenging times of my life.  As I thought through that experience, remembering, and reflecting upon that trying time, I saw something that I never realized before.  I have continued to blame my circumstances and other people for that challenging time.  I was miserable and depressed and decided to change my path following that difficult semester at college.  What I realize today is I had the power to change things, but instead I allowed myself to be swallowed up in misery, so much that I couldn't see beyond myself, or find a way through my challenges in the moment. I wish instead of just focusing on getting past that semester, I wish I would have worked harder to find happiness during those four months.

All these years later, I finally look at that time differently.   Of course, years of experience help me see what I couldn’t see then.  Reflecting upon it helps me not forget my past trials, but to continue to learn from them to give me wisdom and understanding to face my current and future challenges.

Capturing our thought processes and to see where our thinking will lead us is an incredible experience. Those "aah" moments when we change the way we perceive life or understand something we never truly grasped before continues to be my favorite thing about writing

Moving -- Always an Adventure

In 1995, my husband graduated from college and we set out on a new adventure.  As we drove the rental van towards the midwest, we could not imagine the course our lives would take. Six states later and an average of a move every 2.4 years created many new adventures. For each place we called home, I tried to focus not on where we used to live, but on where we currently lived.  Some moves required a longer adjustment period, other moves we quickly acclimated to our new home.  Some people ask me which place I consider to be my favorite.  I really don't know which I would label my favorite.  I identify each place with the memorable stories and with different challenges. Though moving is difficult, I have learned to adapt, to be open-minded, to seek God's will and guidance through our many changes.  We know the word "change" very well.  I love seeing new parts of the country, meeting new people, and creating new experiences.  Moving, with all its ups and downs, proves to be an adventure. I have come to accept that this is my life, and I'm determined to make the best of each new adventure.

The Challenges of Parenting -- Am I Up to the Task?

When it comes to parenting, I sometimes question if I am up to the task. I try not to become discouraged, but with the daily challenges of teaching children, helping children, and resolving conflict, at times, I feel discouraged. It is not easy raising a family.

As a mom, I worry -- at any one time I could probably express a worry I have about each or most of my children.  I don't think its going to get any easier.  This is not an easy world to live in, evil surrounds us and constantly tries to bombard our family. I must help my children to understand this battle and fight, fight, fight--to overcome the world, to stand strong, to be good examples, to withstand temptation, to rise above.  My husband and I must be their captains -- and lead them into or away from battle, depending on whether fighting is required.  We must teach our children who they are and who they can become.  We must help them see that life is more than the images portrayed in music, movies, and the internet.

This Is My Quest--no matter how hopeless, no matter how far.  The Impossible Dream is my theme for our family.  I have loved this song since a teenager.  I use it now when I contemplate how difficult life and parenting is.  A war wages all around us.  I cannot shrink from my duty as co-captain of our army. Thankfully, God's on our side -- that is the only way we can succeed.

My Favorite Song

The large stereo cabinet stood in the living room of my childhood home. It played my mom's favorite records and even 8-tracks.  It took up a lot of space being about 6 feet wide and 4 feet tall.  I loved my mom's stereo. I spent hours listening to my mom's favorite singers, including Barbara Streisand, Petula Clark, Jim Nabors and a few others.  Though I knew I couldn't sing, I would still sing along to my favorites (usually I waited until I would be home alone, before belting out the songs.)

As I grew up listening to these songs, I learned to love a great ballad.  I considered "The Impossible Dream" to be my favorite then as I listened to Jim Nabors sing it.  I love that song to this day.  I dream I can actually sing that song, but that's definitely the Impossible Dream.  For now, I will simply enjoy listening to the song, and using it as a theme for my life.  As I face my challenges and overcome my imperfections, I hope to endure and to learn from my life, and to make my life all it can be.

A Lantern to Remember

In remembrance of my mom who passed away in November 2011, I gathered with my children to let off Chinese Lanterns.  Our first attempt was at the beach, but when the sun went down, the wind kicked up, and it was too windy.  We drove back home and stopped at the grassy area by our church.  One by one we sent them off into the air, the last one I held onto until it filled with air and it wanted to soar.  I occasionally write poems, and I came home that night and wrote a poem about this experience in connection with my thoughts about my mom.

This Is My Quest

 

I am on a quest, which at times feels impossible, but I am determined to succeed.  My quest is to overcome my own inadequacies and weaknesses, to face my challenges, and to become the person God wants me to be.

At times, self-doubt and discouragement weigh me down.  It is an internal battle usually fought in the confines of my mind and my heart.  I clearly see my personal weaknesses and its hard not to solely focus on my shortcomings.  “No matter how hopeless” this battle sometimes appears in my mind, my determination to reach my final destination helps put things into focus, and I tell myself I can not give up, even when my perceived inadequacies make me feel as if I have fallen short.  My quest is to prevent self-doubt and discouragement from stopping my forward progression and to turn my weaknesses into strengths.

“To dream the Impossible Dream, to fight the unbeatable foe, to bear with unbearable sorrow, to run where the brave dare not go…” This is my quest as I face my challenges.  As I look at today’s unrighteous world and evil influences, I must work hard to stand for truth and righteousness, regardless of what is occurring around me or what others say I should believe.  As I face my personal trials, I need to better accept those challenges, without murmuring and approach them with a positive attitude.  As I face the difficult task of parenting in today’s environment, I realize that even though I may be an imperfect parent, I have a responsibility to guide my children and to love them unconditionally.  The world tries to pull them in so many directions, so I have to do my very best to show them the clear path to follow and give them the freedom to choose their path.  My quest is to never give up even when the world is overbearing, my trials are overwhelming, and parenting seems overly difficult.

I shall continually strive “to follow that star”—to become the person God wants me to be, to never lose hope, to hold on to my faith, to patiently continue moving forward, and always give credit to God for helping me on this path; and then I will know that when all is said and done that “my heart will lie peaceful and calm, when I’m laid to my rest.”  My quest is to improve myself, to face my challenges, to serve my family and others, to strive to live righteously, and know that I have done my very best to become who God wants me to become.

It is a difficult quest I am on, but if I hold fast and strive to endure, I can succeed! “This is my quest…no matter how hopeless, no matter how far…

[I will] reach the unreachable star!”